In the debate competition in our company, my team reached semi-finals but couldn’t reach the finals. We lost today. I seldom loose debates, debates are my life-line. I felt the judges were not really fair. I almost laughed aloud when one of the judges said that I was speaking too emotionally and that that was a negative for debates. I couldn’t understand how he thought that I was an emotional speaker, I did not cry neither did I make an attempt to narrate something so poignant so as to make anyone’s eyes wet. I was not emotional, but I was passionate, the judge unfortunately couldn’t differentiate between someone making an emotional speech and someone making a passionate speech. A few folks came and told me that the judgement ought to have been in our favour.
Nevertheless, my team lost. I lost. It was a shock to me, because I never thought I would loose this debate. There haven’t been many things in my life where I really wanted to win but lost. In this debate competition I really wanted to win the finals. I was too passionate about it. I believed I could do that. And the loss in semi-finals, after what I thought was one of the best debates, having to defend the British idea of Monarchy, came in as a rude shock to me.
I was there thinking…
It was then I realized that it takes a lot more courage and confidence to loose in something that one yearnestly wants to win. The courage and confidence to accept oneself even after having failed. The courage and confidence to look at peole and say ‘Yes I lost, but still I am looking you in the eye. Yes, I took a punch, but still I stand ready for the next.’
Just as I was thinking about this a note sent by our HR person in charge of sending out reports about debates made a special mention of our team with the note “Every loss makes the bone as flint, the gristle into muscle and man invincible” made me glader.
In spite of the fact that I am sad that I lost what I passionately wanted to win, I am somehow glad that I ‘experienced’ defeat. Somehow through this loss I as a person am more invincible than I was before in that I can loose something I most yearnestly want to win and still smile 🙂 I thank God for this experience.
One thought on “I LOST and realized it takes courage and confidence to loose”
Below is the email chain about this blog between me and a colleague of mine, Vasu.________________________________________From: Peter, EmmanuelReagan Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 6:32 PMTo: Chockalingam, VasudevanSubject: RE: blog Thanks Vasu, glad you appreciate it. ________________________________________From: Chockalingam, Vasudevan Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 4:23 PMTo: Peter, EmmanuelReaganSubject: RE: blog sorry… in hurry forgot the topic“I LOST and realized it takes courage and confidence to loose” ________________________________________From: Peter, EmmanuelReagan Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 4:20 PMTo: Chockalingam, VasudevanSubject: RE: blog Which blog article, Vasu? ________________________________________From: Chockalingam, Vasudevan Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 4:18 PMTo: Peter, EmmanuelReaganSubject: blog Emmy,Few things/word/thought remain in my heart, ringing in my ears, flashing in my eyes… this i blog article is one of them…